Finally it's the weekend.
It's only 3 days of work but I am starting to look forward till the end of it. Gosh. They were urgently looking to fill the position so here I am, working when I did not even sign any contract or anything. Hopefully this time I do not kena the crappy situation where they try to find excuse not to pay me lo. Anyway, the office has only about 4 other people, and one more whom I have not seen because she's on leave. They are pretty nice but I guess there's the barrier between me and them. Age gap, cultural differences or whatever. I could handle all those but not when they throw to me stuffs expecting me to know how to do everything without explaining it to me step by step in the first place. Namely the person who I was suppose to help.
)':
Sian ttm. The guy colleague doesn't ask me to do stuff so it's okay. Another female colleague did explain to me step by step and the things she gave me to do were really easy and minimal that even if she explained briefly I would get it. But then comes the person who would give me more stuffs to do. She just literally threw foreign stuffs for me to do and how she taught me was, "help me do this memo, do up the agreement, just search for the sample in this file then copy etc..." Forwarded me so many emails asking me to handle them with very few instructions. And the freaking computer has like soooooo many files. Where do i find that particular file? Which do I follow? A memorandum itself has different versions for different purposes. And then certain documents have to have letterhead, some do not. Some need color some no need color. Dispatch this to blah blah blah. What is dispatch? How do I do it? So blur, so confused. Everything was verbal diarrhea to me can. And I would just stare back blankly. Then the next minute i'm left alone. Oh great. Then I would try figuring it out myself with the limited information provided. While I was immersed in my concentration she would throw another foreign thing for me to do.
Yeah, to put it nicely they said, "Anything you don't know just ask okay?" But they really kinda mean, "I'm so busy I don't even have the time to explain to you all the steps. Go figure it out yourself."
Then I wonder is it just me? Am I just too blur and too dumb that I just can't catch up? What the hell, i am already an adult and this is the standard of my capability? Damn it, how am I going to survive in the future? Seriously. My future is so gloomy.
Got really demoralized today. Boss even asked why am I so slow and quiet. (Seriously, she asked me that) "I thought during the interview you're very cheerful!" Ya right, i'm like being thrown into the sea without being taught how to swim or even given a float. I'm expected to struggle to keep myself alive and learn how to swim from all that struggling. Would I still have the time and mood to smile? Sigh. Now I regret for not just staying at home and slack my December off.
The ex-intern came back today to visit them I guess. Then they made her taught me because 'they are too busy to do so'. She's nice and patient though! So I learnt quite a lot from her just within that few hours. Thank god. Okay, hopefully it gets better next week.
Colleagues are nice la. Just the way they invite me as a newbie is really.... Makes me speechless, i'm not superman lo. ): I am really okay with having to open the door whenever it rings and all those but just do not like not knowing what to do when given something that I was not taught. Thick skin all the way by asking a lot of questions. But still blur because the explanations I got was really........
Anyway people like the cleaner whom I would open the door for every morning and evening and the security guys are really friendly as well. Cleaner and I would say 早! to one another while the Chinese security guy would make conversation with me. Today I made 'friends' with the malay security guy because he kept coming to the office today and I had to constantly opening the door for him. He was damn apologetic, haha. I had to clock in and out at the fire command room so we smiled and waved when I left for home! Just something simple like that made me feel better. Lol.
It's only 3 days of work but I am starting to look forward till the end of it. Gosh. They were urgently looking to fill the position so here I am, working when I did not even sign any contract or anything. Hopefully this time I do not kena the crappy situation where they try to find excuse not to pay me lo. Anyway, the office has only about 4 other people, and one more whom I have not seen because she's on leave. They are pretty nice but I guess there's the barrier between me and them. Age gap, cultural differences or whatever. I could handle all those but not when they throw to me stuffs expecting me to know how to do everything without explaining it to me step by step in the first place. Namely the person who I was suppose to help.
)':
Sian ttm. The guy colleague doesn't ask me to do stuff so it's okay. Another female colleague did explain to me step by step and the things she gave me to do were really easy and minimal that even if she explained briefly I would get it. But then comes the person who would give me more stuffs to do. She just literally threw foreign stuffs for me to do and how she taught me was, "help me do this memo, do up the agreement, just search for the sample in this file then copy etc..." Forwarded me so many emails asking me to handle them with very few instructions. And the freaking computer has like soooooo many files. Where do i find that particular file? Which do I follow? A memorandum itself has different versions for different purposes. And then certain documents have to have letterhead, some do not. Some need color some no need color. Dispatch this to blah blah blah. What is dispatch? How do I do it? So blur, so confused. Everything was verbal diarrhea to me can. And I would just stare back blankly. Then the next minute i'm left alone. Oh great. Then I would try figuring it out myself with the limited information provided. While I was immersed in my concentration she would throw another foreign thing for me to do.
Yeah, to put it nicely they said, "Anything you don't know just ask okay?" But they really kinda mean, "I'm so busy I don't even have the time to explain to you all the steps. Go figure it out yourself."
Then I wonder is it just me? Am I just too blur and too dumb that I just can't catch up? What the hell, i am already an adult and this is the standard of my capability? Damn it, how am I going to survive in the future? Seriously. My future is so gloomy.
Got really demoralized today. Boss even asked why am I so slow and quiet. (Seriously, she asked me that) "I thought during the interview you're very cheerful!" Ya right, i'm like being thrown into the sea without being taught how to swim or even given a float. I'm expected to struggle to keep myself alive and learn how to swim from all that struggling. Would I still have the time and mood to smile? Sigh. Now I regret for not just staying at home and slack my December off.
The ex-intern came back today to visit them I guess. Then they made her taught me because 'they are too busy to do so'. She's nice and patient though! So I learnt quite a lot from her just within that few hours. Thank god. Okay, hopefully it gets better next week.
Colleagues are nice la. Just the way they invite me as a newbie is really.... Makes me speechless, i'm not superman lo. ): I am really okay with having to open the door whenever it rings and all those but just do not like not knowing what to do when given something that I was not taught. Thick skin all the way by asking a lot of questions. But still blur because the explanations I got was really........
Anyway people like the cleaner whom I would open the door for every morning and evening and the security guys are really friendly as well. Cleaner and I would say 早! to one another while the Chinese security guy would make conversation with me. Today I made 'friends' with the malay security guy because he kept coming to the office today and I had to constantly opening the door for him. He was damn apologetic, haha. I had to clock in and out at the fire command room so we smiled and waved when I left for home! Just something simple like that made me feel better. Lol.
Alright, enough of my ranting.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!!!
P.S Weekends are so damn precious now.
What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!!!
P.S Weekends are so damn precious now.
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