Was supposed to post happy things like cny and valentine's day but today is a solemn day for me and my family. Dedicating this post to the special one...
Dear Lightning,
I still remembered the day when i saw you and your siblings cuddling together looking small and vulnerable without your mother's protection. Helpless even. Despite that, Thunder tried to be fierce, being the temporary source of protection.
We showed care and concern, assuring you guys that we're not going to harm any of you. Three of you gradually became less wary, and relied more on us.
And then you guys started to be more playful and curious. Exploring the house and tackling one another or toys as substitute. Jumping and climbing here and there, full of energy.
Yet when you became tired, you would climb into my arms and sleep like you trust that being in my arms is the safest place.
Among the three, you were quite the 'ordinary' one. People usually love Thunder at first sight because he seems unique with his handsome brown face, whereas Kitty looks like a pretty princess. But Lightning, you were the kind where the more people get to know you, the more you grown on people. For one, you are so good-natured i couldn't help but protect you because you are incapable of protecting yourself. You do not fight back with Thunder whenever he vents on you.
And when Kitty likes to suck on your tummy while she sleeps, probably because she is still finding for her mother's milk, you tolerate it all. Never once did i see you throw a temper. Not even when she sucked till your tummy fur were ugly brown and almost bare.
And because you were so good-natured, we often made you the guinea pig to try things on because you wouldn't protest violently like the rest. In fact, you just allowed us to put on the uncomfortable t-shirt and leash etc without so much of a struggle or complain.
That's why Lightning, you are really loveable. 你是最乖，最听话的。
Remember the time when we brought you to Granny's place to show you off? We brought you only because you were easiest to handle. But from your point of view, you were so scared being in an unfamiliar place and having the eager kids surrounding you. Guess what you did? Of all places, you walked right into my lap and stayed there. So i held you there and tell you everything's fine. You're like a baby and i couldn't help but smile.
Same goes for the time when you were feeling unwell. We could tell from the way you walk which seems really weak. But you would walk and plopped right into my lap like it's the place you're most comfy at. I like it that you chose to come to me of all places. So i held you there again.
But today was different.
16 Feb 2013.
At about 9plus, I woke up when Mummy came in panicking that when she picked you up your body was soft. Sissy and i jumped up from our bed and went down to take a look. There you were, lying on the ground, not moving except your mouth which was opening and closing like you're hiccuping/gasping for air. My first thought was thank god you're still alive because when Mummy said your body was soft i imagined it literally, like becoming jelly. We couldn't do anything but just looking at you, stroking your head and talking to you. We called Daddy who said he'll be back. You were lying like you didn't have any strength in your legs. You didn't walk into my lap like the previous times you did. You were just gasping and gasping. And we weren't even sure if that was you not being able to breathe properly or hiccuping or something else.
I thought i would smell if i go to the vet's without brushing my teeth or washing my face, so i quickly went up to wash up.
Yet when i came back down, feeling more refreshed and clear, i saw the tear stricken faces of Mummy and Sissy. Mummy sobbed that you have gone. No. This can't be it. No. Lightning, you can't be gone. I ran towards you and there you laid. Your tummy not moving anymore. Your eyes no longer wide opened. Yet it wasn't fully closed either. I wailed. I wailed for you to come back. We were going to bring you to see the vet soon, you just can't give up yet. But there was no response from you. I just cried. And weeped even more when i saw your eyes without the iris. I kept looking at your tummy for signs of breathing and i thought i saw it move but it must have been illusions.
Daddy finally came home and we still rushed you to the vet. Part of me still held out the slightest glimmer of hope. But it was too late. The vet pronounce that you're dead. We don't even know the cause of your death which makes it seems all the more difficult to accept.
Lightning, you know, right now as i'm typing this, i'm still hurting and wishing you could come back. It's too sudden. It feels so unreal. Every time i think of you and how the previous days you still seemed fine, played with me, sitting on the chair like it belonged to you etc...i just can't help it but to tear silently. I would have shorten my life in exchange for yours just to have you by my side again. All this while, all i could say was sorry. Sorry for not caring for you more. Sorry for not being able to protect you. Sorry for not being there when you took your last breath. Sorry Lightning, i'm so sorry. Apologies won't bring you back, but i'm really sorry. My heart hurts so much from hugging your limp body for the last time and seeing you being placed into the hole that we dug. I cried when i placed the soil on top of you. The thought of not being able to cuddle you anymore hit me hard.
I think Thunder realised what happened and he sent you off too. He knows you'll be in a better place.
Distraught. When will this wound heal, i do not know, for you're no longer going to be back. Forgive me if i'm weak, crying every single minute whenever i think of you. Do not worry about me though Lightning, i'll be strong for you. Just give me time.
Although it was a relatively short one year plus together, thank you for being so understanding, tolerating and loveable. You are irreplaceable, always remember that. I miss you but i know that you're in a better place. My precious little one, rest in peace.
*kisses*
Love, your owner who loves you very very very much.
Dear Lightning,
I still remembered the day when i saw you and your siblings cuddling together looking small and vulnerable without your mother's protection. Helpless even. Despite that, Thunder tried to be fierce, being the temporary source of protection.
We showed care and concern, assuring you guys that we're not going to harm any of you. Three of you gradually became less wary, and relied more on us.
And then you guys started to be more playful and curious. Exploring the house and tackling one another or toys as substitute. Jumping and climbing here and there, full of energy.
Yet when you became tired, you would climb into my arms and sleep like you trust that being in my arms is the safest place.
Among the three, you were quite the 'ordinary' one. People usually love Thunder at first sight because he seems unique with his handsome brown face, whereas Kitty looks like a pretty princess. But Lightning, you were the kind where the more people get to know you, the more you grown on people. For one, you are so good-natured i couldn't help but protect you because you are incapable of protecting yourself. You do not fight back with Thunder whenever he vents on you.
And when Kitty likes to suck on your tummy while she sleeps, probably because she is still finding for her mother's milk, you tolerate it all. Never once did i see you throw a temper. Not even when she sucked till your tummy fur were ugly brown and almost bare.
And because you were so good-natured, we often made you the guinea pig to try things on because you wouldn't protest violently like the rest. In fact, you just allowed us to put on the uncomfortable t-shirt and leash etc without so much of a struggle or complain.
That's why Lightning, you are really loveable. 你是最乖，最听话的。
Remember the time when we brought you to Granny's place to show you off? We brought you only because you were easiest to handle. But from your point of view, you were so scared being in an unfamiliar place and having the eager kids surrounding you. Guess what you did? Of all places, you walked right into my lap and stayed there. So i held you there and tell you everything's fine. You're like a baby and i couldn't help but smile.
Same goes for the time when you were feeling unwell. We could tell from the way you walk which seems really weak. But you would walk and plopped right into my lap like it's the place you're most comfy at. I like it that you chose to come to me of all places. So i held you there again.
But today was different.
16 Feb 2013.
At about 9plus, I woke up when Mummy came in panicking that when she picked you up your body was soft. Sissy and i jumped up from our bed and went down to take a look. There you were, lying on the ground, not moving except your mouth which was opening and closing like you're hiccuping/gasping for air. My first thought was thank god you're still alive because when Mummy said your body was soft i imagined it literally, like becoming jelly. We couldn't do anything but just looking at you, stroking your head and talking to you. We called Daddy who said he'll be back. You were lying like you didn't have any strength in your legs. You didn't walk into my lap like the previous times you did. You were just gasping and gasping. And we weren't even sure if that was you not being able to breathe properly or hiccuping or something else.
I thought i would smell if i go to the vet's without brushing my teeth or washing my face, so i quickly went up to wash up.
Yet when i came back down, feeling more refreshed and clear, i saw the tear stricken faces of Mummy and Sissy. Mummy sobbed that you have gone. No. This can't be it. No. Lightning, you can't be gone. I ran towards you and there you laid. Your tummy not moving anymore. Your eyes no longer wide opened. Yet it wasn't fully closed either. I wailed. I wailed for you to come back. We were going to bring you to see the vet soon, you just can't give up yet. But there was no response from you. I just cried. And weeped even more when i saw your eyes without the iris. I kept looking at your tummy for signs of breathing and i thought i saw it move but it must have been illusions.
Daddy finally came home and we still rushed you to the vet. Part of me still held out the slightest glimmer of hope. But it was too late. The vet pronounce that you're dead. We don't even know the cause of your death which makes it seems all the more difficult to accept.
Lightning, you know, right now as i'm typing this, i'm still hurting and wishing you could come back. It's too sudden. It feels so unreal. Every time i think of you and how the previous days you still seemed fine, played with me, sitting on the chair like it belonged to you etc...i just can't help it but to tear silently. I would have shorten my life in exchange for yours just to have you by my side again. All this while, all i could say was sorry. Sorry for not caring for you more. Sorry for not being able to protect you. Sorry for not being there when you took your last breath. Sorry Lightning, i'm so sorry. Apologies won't bring you back, but i'm really sorry. My heart hurts so much from hugging your limp body for the last time and seeing you being placed into the hole that we dug. I cried when i placed the soil on top of you. The thought of not being able to cuddle you anymore hit me hard.
I think Thunder realised what happened and he sent you off too. He knows you'll be in a better place.
Distraught. When will this wound heal, i do not know, for you're no longer going to be back. Forgive me if i'm weak, crying every single minute whenever i think of you. Do not worry about me though Lightning, i'll be strong for you. Just give me time.
Although it was a relatively short one year plus together, thank you for being so understanding, tolerating and loveable. You are irreplaceable, always remember that. I miss you but i know that you're in a better place. My precious little one, rest in peace.
*kisses*
Love, your owner who loves you very very very much.
Thank you for loving me. I'm happy and healthy now. Heaven is a really nice place. The clouds really feels like marshmallows and it's filled with rainbows and unicorns. I found my mommy too and i can type!! I hope you are feeling better. Please don't cry too much. I really miss you. Please take care of yourself and thunder for me. I Love You.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lighting
Hello there, whoever you are, sorry for the late reply, as i've neglected this space for quite some time. I just want to thank you so much for this sweet note. It made me tear again, but it's because it was nice imagining my baby Lightning enjoying himself in the beautiful place with marshmallow like clouds, rainbows and unicorns. It always hurt thinking that i'm not where he is now, by his side. But i know i'm strong and i'll be fine. Though i can't quite guess who you are, please know that i really appreciate it. <3 :)
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