Hi! I'm dead beat right now but don't really want to sleep. (Yes, i'm ironic like that) So I'm just taking some time off to do some blogging. Currently in a mood where I feel only I understand myself fully. But before I start on that, let me update you about my studies...
So I'm done with 4 of my papers, leaving me with just one more this Thursday. It's one of my longest exam period ever because usually my finals wouldn't drag this long. But i'm thankful for that because my papers are nicely spread out this time, with at least a day in-between all my papers. That is totally necessary this semester since I didn't start studying till the start of study week. But then again, it's of not much use since I just do not know how to study for most of the modules. And did I mention? The 4 the papers that I have already done was bad. B-A-D. Don't talk about getting a C or D, I even wonder if I would get my first fail in my university life. Sighhh.
Really felt like killing the prof who purposely set the paper to be 'one of the hardest to challenge' us. It's like all of us were so afraid of dying and he decided to up the temperature of the burning flames. 'So don't think too much about it if you have tried your best.' That's the thing. What if my best is not your best?
One more to go, persevere TQN!
Semi-done with my cheat sheet for development law. I'm smarter (or maybe just plain lazy) this time round, instead of painstakingly writing out the cheat sheet word for word, I decided to type and print my cheat sheet! I set my font size as 5 and they look like ants even on the computer itself. Eyes going blind at this rate.
Okay, done with ranting about studies. Back to the pensive mood i'm in now.
Usually I'm a pretty cheerful person. Sometimes pessimistic. Sometimes just blank out. Today is just one of those moods where i feel alone. No, of course there are many out there who loves me, showering me with abundance of love and cares a lot for me. My family, my friends, even my cats... For example, the other day Eelin dropped me a random but sweet message plus a photo upon my request. (which I lost because I updated my phone without back up, ended up having to restore it and lost several stuffs. :c ). Of course there are the usuals like Lq and Lester who constantly encourage and spur me on.
Oh look! I even have a mini welfare pack consisting of childhood biscuits, ricola and luo han guo.
^^
But sometimes the only person who can be there for me 24/7, every single moment, all the time...is just me. The only person who fully and truly understands me is just me. Although I would admit that sometimes I may be too complicated for me to even comprehend myself. Hahah. The problem with me is that I don't like to spell things out. Hence, people misunderstood me at times and sometimes I would try to defend myself but other times I would just let it be. Why bother wasting my breath if people aren't going to be able to understand it from my point of view? All they would do is judge. So the only person who understands it all, is just me. Then it's just pathetic to be having all these thoughts in my head, with just me me me me. Sometimes I wish there is just someone (just one will do) who would not judge me at all. Who would be willing to spare me time whenever I need it. Then only would I be able to express myself freely. But there's no such person I guess. It'll be nice though, to have someone who is able to put himself/herself in my shoes and really understand it from my point of view. There may be people willing to be such a person to me but I don't 'feel' it. It's like I would also assure close friends around me that I'll always be there, no matter what. That they can count on me to listen to their problems if they have any because I want to be able to share their burden. Maybe I wouldn't be of much help but I just want them to know they aren't alone. But then again, they might not come to me when they have problems or when they have mixed up feelings. Probably because they don't 'feel' that I'm genuine. Or there's still the worry that they'll just be bugging me with their issues. Or it's just too difficult to share. I guess everyone faces this problem right?
)':
Walao, too stress that I feel emotional. A signal that it's time to sleep.
Goodnight folks!
So I'm done with 4 of my papers, leaving me with just one more this Thursday. It's one of my longest exam period ever because usually my finals wouldn't drag this long. But i'm thankful for that because my papers are nicely spread out this time, with at least a day in-between all my papers. That is totally necessary this semester since I didn't start studying till the start of study week. But then again, it's of not much use since I just do not know how to study for most of the modules. And did I mention? The 4 the papers that I have already done was bad. B-A-D. Don't talk about getting a C or D, I even wonder if I would get my first fail in my university life. Sighhh.
Really felt like killing the prof who purposely set the paper to be 'one of the hardest to challenge' us. It's like all of us were so afraid of dying and he decided to up the temperature of the burning flames. 'So don't think too much about it if you have tried your best.' That's the thing. What if my best is not your best?
One more to go, persevere TQN!
Semi-done with my cheat sheet for development law. I'm smarter (or maybe just plain lazy) this time round, instead of painstakingly writing out the cheat sheet word for word, I decided to type and print my cheat sheet! I set my font size as 5 and they look like ants even on the computer itself. Eyes going blind at this rate.
Okay, done with ranting about studies. Back to the pensive mood i'm in now.
Usually I'm a pretty cheerful person. Sometimes pessimistic. Sometimes just blank out. Today is just one of those moods where i feel alone. No, of course there are many out there who loves me, showering me with abundance of love and cares a lot for me. My family, my friends, even my cats... For example, the other day Eelin dropped me a random but sweet message plus a photo upon my request. (which I lost because I updated my phone without back up, ended up having to restore it and lost several stuffs. :c ). Of course there are the usuals like Lq and Lester who constantly encourage and spur me on.
^^
But sometimes the only person who can be there for me 24/7, every single moment, all the time...is just me. The only person who fully and truly understands me is just me. Although I would admit that sometimes I may be too complicated for me to even comprehend myself. Hahah. The problem with me is that I don't like to spell things out. Hence, people misunderstood me at times and sometimes I would try to defend myself but other times I would just let it be. Why bother wasting my breath if people aren't going to be able to understand it from my point of view? All they would do is judge. So the only person who understands it all, is just me. Then it's just pathetic to be having all these thoughts in my head, with just me me me me. Sometimes I wish there is just someone (just one will do) who would not judge me at all. Who would be willing to spare me time whenever I need it. Then only would I be able to express myself freely. But there's no such person I guess. It'll be nice though, to have someone who is able to put himself/herself in my shoes and really understand it from my point of view. There may be people willing to be such a person to me but I don't 'feel' it. It's like I would also assure close friends around me that I'll always be there, no matter what. That they can count on me to listen to their problems if they have any because I want to be able to share their burden. Maybe I wouldn't be of much help but I just want them to know they aren't alone. But then again, they might not come to me when they have problems or when they have mixed up feelings. Probably because they don't 'feel' that I'm genuine. Or there's still the worry that they'll just be bugging me with their issues. Or it's just too difficult to share. I guess everyone faces this problem right?
)':
Walao, too stress that I feel emotional. A signal that it's time to sleep.
Goodnight folks!
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