Brownie points!

Yay, brownie points for me! I actually helped to vacuum the entire house yesterday. Such a simple yet tiring task. I was perspiring after that. Oh, the horrible weather.

I know la, vacuum only ma, what's the big deal? Haha, just let me feel happy that i contributed a little just to let my mum relax a little bit la k.

In addition, i accompanied mummy to grandma's place today! She was supposed to go over to look after grandma as nobody is going to be at home. Thought that she wouldn't be so lonely and frustrated if i was there as well, because you know grandma's condition...sometimes you just don't know whether to laugh or cry. Went there early in the morning, and i was in the ultimate zombie state. It wasn't that early, but i couldn't sleep last night, so i only slept for a few hours. Tabao breakfast and lunch together so that we needn't come down to tabao again later. Grandma, as usual, was panicky when she was not able to see my Uncle. Kept walking here and there and asking where he is. Sigh, it pains me to see her pacing here and there with her severely hunched back, and telling me she's scared to be alone, despite having both mummy and i over there with her. There was nothing i could do to let her feel safe and at peace. All i could do was to assure her with comforting words which would be forgotten within minutes. 

Sissy also came over after her lesson ended and bought salted egg yolk custard bun from Barcook Bakery for us!

Soft and pretty yummy!

Ah ma ate like a little girl. She was like, "Mhmmmm~ Soft!" And the custard was running all over the place. Hahaha, super cute. And oh, she kept giving us packets of drinks to drink and our trick was to leave one empty packet on the table so that when she ask if we want more, we would say no and pretend to sip on that empty packet of drink. Then she found out and was scolding who finished drinking but did not throw the packet away. So she went to the dustbin, intending to throw it away and saw 3 other packets lying in the bin. And she got angry, asking who the hell drank 3 packets of drink like some greedy person. Hahaha. It's funny yet scary at the same time. See what dementia can do to a person? When she's angry it's scary la. Cause since young, i've never seen the fierce side of her. She's always nice and doting. Unlike my paternal grandma who will scold and beat me when i was a kid since i was usually under her care. For example, ah ma thought sissy and i were my cousins and was like scolding saying we are so damn lazy and didn't help with household chores when she was keeping the laundry. My sis and i was like...huh?

Other times she's really cute. Like when one of my cousin came back, 4 of us were sitting at the dining table and chatting a lot, ah ma came out of the toilet and was smiling really cutely at us while we were conversing. Then she asked what are talking about that we looked so happy and kept laughing. Haha. And she's really good in English for an elderly person too. We kept wanting to give her more food to eat but she declines by saying "No, thank you." Lol.

We all know, deep down in our hearts, that her time is ticking. That is why everyone is doing their part to take care of her. It's definitely not easy, but it's a responsibility stressing on the importance of filial piety. Yes, it gets irritating when we're being continuously bombarded with questions, similar ones at that. Yes, it's frustrating when we're in the right and she's in the wrong but she just kept insisting as if she's right. Yes, we can't stand it when the weather is so freaking hot and stuffy yet she wants to switch off all fans and close all windows. Yet often, we have to take a deep breath so as to stop these spontaneous, bubbling feelings from spilling and to take a step back to put ourselves in her shoes. Because she's not in a better position either.

Remember, she's sick. It's not her choice and she's not aware of whatever she is doing. Her world is topsy turvy and nothing seems familiar anymore. Everything's confusing, unfamiliar and simply scary to her. Sometimes, she can't even recognize her children, let alone her grandchildren. Imagine, being scared in a seemingly unfamiliar environment with people you don't recognize, and then you gain the courage to ask questions but instead of clearing your doubts, you only get scoldings and screaming. Worst of all, you don't know why. Also, recall the times when she was a healthy and fit person. How was she like then? Happy, caring, doing all the chores without a complain, keeping the house spick and span, cooking food that we like etc. A person who would do anything to make me happy. And then think, if our roles were to swap, me with the dementia and her being healthy, i know she wouldn't abandon me.

Nobody said it was easy. But tolerance and understanding is all that matters. What's more, her time is ticking, and we have to cherish what we have before regretting when nothing can be done.

I love my grandparents.

I love my parents.

Of course there are times when i may be unhappy with them or what's not, but i wouldn't trade them for the world. And it pains me to even think that they won't be with me forever and ever and ever.

Okayyyyyy, somehow this became an emo-ish post. Haha.
Aiya, morale of the story, try to do more good things to make the lives of your loved ones better! Don't take them for granted (which most tend to do) and appreciate them more!

And then brownie points for you too!